My Second Trimester

By Camilla

If my first trimester was characterized by refrigerator-induced nausea, weight loss, and non-stop boob pain, then my second trimester can only be described as smooth sailing so far...

So much has happened in the past couple of months since I last checked in here about this pregnancy. If you follow me on instagram or snapchat, you're probably well aware of these things but to review:

  • I got a job. I'm working full time now and commuting 1.5 hours each way (don't feel too bad for me, I get to ride a beautiful ferry and drink hot chocolate). 

  • I found a house! On this island it's almost impossible to find a rental that will accept three animals, 2 people and a bun in the oven so I can't believe how lucky I am. It's a sweet, smaller space with a yard and room to garden. Our future landlords are the coolest and we will be moving in August when Damir gets back. 

  • I've started working out again (more on that later)

  • And probably most excitingly, we found out that the little thing doing all the tossing and turning and kicking in my belly is actually a baby girl!!!

OK so let's get to it. 

Working full time while pregnant is a doozy even if you're used to working full time. After 4 years of studying and living in Slovenia and not commuting to a regular job, I've had to readjust majorly. And doing so while pregnant has been a pretty big challenge. I wake up around 5:30am everyday and commute to work, which includes walking uphill about 10 blocks (really really gets my heart rate going). I get home around 5:30pm completely exhausted and try to cuddle as much as I can with my animals until I pass out around 9pm. It is incredibly tiring and I am incredibly tired but the security of having a job is worth it all. I can't even tell you how lucky I feel to be in this position.

One of the things I've been struggling with the most through this trimester so far is the weight gain aspect of pregnancy. I knew going into this whole thing that my body was going to put on weight. It just does. I have to work hard to keep it off most of the time and with everything I have going on, I don't have as much time as I'd like to put into working out. That and rushing to eat breakfast and lunch don't allow me to make the best food decisions (neither does craving strawberry milkshakes). Honestly, my main concern is making sure I eat enough to not feel sick and to keep my body running through this whole crazy process. That said, I've felt a little bit sad that I don't look like the girls I see on Instagram or blogs — the ones who are praised for being "all bump!" and "not even looking pregnant". I see and feel the change in my face, arms, hips, butt, love handles...pretty much everywhere. And while I remind myself constantly that it's all for a good reason and I can lose it after the baby is born, I find myself going through a bit of an identity struggle. I'm really really tired and stretched pretty thin, so I don't have the time or energy I would like to put into my daily appearance, which makes me feel kind of crappy daily. I do wish we saw all the different kinds of pregnancies shared and praised so I could feel like I'm not doing something wrong by gaining some weight in places other than my belly. As far as excercise goes, I walk 30 minutes a day to and from work and 2-3 times a week I go for a 1 hour+ hike with the dog in the forest. I also ride the bike and do strength exercise whenever I have time and energy. And I even went kayaking last week with my dad and the dog! So I know I'm putting in as much effort as I can to stay active and healthy. I just have to own that and feel good about it. 

And finally, I am so excited to finally be able to talk about my baby girl. I wasn't sure I wanted to find out the gender, if I'm being honest. I thought it would be such a great surprise to find out at the end, but my husband really wanted to know and so did the rest of my family. In time, I realized I wanted to know as well. It was sort of killing me not to be able to give an identity to the little entity moving around in my belly. So when we found out on Friday that "it" actually was a "she", everything suddenly felt so much more real! I absolutely love being able to talk about all of her movements and think about what she will look like. And while almost everybody in my life was betting on it being a boy, I have known from the beginning deep in my soul that I was having a girl. I've had several dreams about it and a very strong feeling I couldn't shake, despite everybody's best efforts to convince me it was a boy. I could not be more excited about this little one joining our family and I will burst into a puddle of tears if I imagine Damir holding his baby girl. I mean, I basically turn into the heart eye emoji just at the thought. Ugh I can't wait!

I've still got about a month to go in this second trimester and while I definitely want to blog more, now that I've gotten into more of a routine with work and life in general, I don't want my only contributions to this blog to be about pregnancy. I am planning on a few more posts to share some of the things I have found essential to surviving pregnancy as well as being as open and honest about this whole process as is appropriate.

See more pregnancy posts here.